Tolerance vs. Acceptance

Tolerance for temperament is special in a relationship: it shows strong devotion and dedication, but a violent temperament is dangerous, and therefore tolerating a violent temperament is endangering yourself!  Do not tolerate physical tolerance.  My views on verbal abuse and anything that does not involve physical contact is that it is okay.  Many would disagree with this, and I understand and have felt their passion for myself before, but I have transcended the need to be upset over someone else's words.  I know now that they are only sounds coming from a person's mouth.  Yes, words have meaning, but to allow yourself to absorb those meanings and affect your mind is allowing another person to affect you without them physically touching you.  If your mental stability is weak in that this would hurt you and bring you down, your mental stability needs empowerment.  I know that it is hurtful to even say someone has a weak mind, but if I saw someone with no muscles, I would not expect them to be able to go into a gym and bench press three hundred pounds.  Why then would I expect someone with no mental muscle to walk into name-calling argument and not feel bad?

You must learn to be patient, and be patient to learn

In one of Rudyard one of Kipling's poems, Kipling wrote about a man that had obtained wealth through years of hard work.  This man then lost every penny in one "roll of the dice." The man did not despair  and began building his wealth again.  This was described by Kipling as "becoming a man," and this is what I consider to be true patience: the ability to continue being patient even after your patience goes unrewarded.

The understanding of patience a second time around had a profound impact on me, even though I had already understood it.  I already knew that patience was not only to wait for something, but to continue to wait even after that patience was unrewarded, but when I heard it a second time, I felt reassured.

Take my advice: hearing and understanding something does not mean a second time around cannot be useful.   it should be considered a second chance to fully understanding things. Whether something new is to be learned or not, the least effect of learning something twice is reenforcement of your original understanding.

Your mood is whatever you want it to be

Can you change who you are?  Yes, you can.  I didn't used to think so, but...  Uhhh..  Yea..  I changed...

When I was sixteen years old, a man said to me, "No one can make you mad."  I was like, "yea right"  because of course someone could surely piss me the hell off if they tried.  Unfortunately though, I spent thirteen years believing that before I realized that the man was right - only I had the power to make me mad.

What's more is that understanding where certain feelings will lead can allow you to lead yourself to happiness in any situation.

Try this:

In a difficult moment, begin by clearing your mind.  Don't think about anything, any belief, rationalization, feeling, or thought at all.  Your mind should be blank and completely empty.  You are simply observing what is in front of you with your eyes, not your mind.  You are only seeing, not thinking.

From there, observe the situation.  See what is going on.  Do not look for a solution, just understand the situation as it is.  This is one way to understand a problem without emotion.

Once you understand the problem without feeling emotional about it, you can decide what resolution you prefer, instead of letting your emotions take over.  I.e. you see a bug creep out from a crevice you automatically let your fear decide what to do (squash the bug!), but maybe you'd decide differently if you weren't freaked out.

You can also put whatever emotion you want into your head.  This is cool about blanking out your mind.  The situation can be bad and call for upset emotions for example, but after you've cleared your mind, it is like a blank portrait waiting to be painted.  Go ahead and throw a happy thought in just to try it out.  You may find that you can be happy even in an upsetting situation!

Trust me; by allowing your emotions to take over, you are essentially letting them make decisions for you.  Instead, control your emotions, and then make decisions for yourself; that way you don't have to get angry or sad or anything bad while resolving problems!

Live happy by choice!

Which way will you go?

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