I haven't written on here in a while (maybe two years), so I'm happy to be back!

What prompted me to get back on here was essentially my job.  I work in an office with about twelve other people, half women, half men.  Over the past couple of years I've sat by while the men in my office constantly tell me about their affairs and mysogonistic adventures, and it's finally made me want to write about it.  I've long ago accepted that other people will always have their own ways, and when their ways are unfaithful I simply remember that when in a situation that requires me to consider their character.  I do not judge them though, nor do I scold them, hold it against them, or try to stop them.  Their life is theirs, not mine, so I let them be; however, I began to think about their partners, their spouses, the ones they are being unfaithful to, and I started to have more complex thoughts.  I began wondering if their partners were cheating as well; this I would not know because the women do not indulge such secrets like the men.  I began feeling sympathy for the women, for the fact that they have no idea.  They are oblivious to the fact that the person that they possibly consider their soulmate, who they possibly imagine does the things they say they do, and is faithful, actually considers their relationship immature enough to sleep with other women then brag about it at their job.

How can we do nothing and go on like nothing is happening?  How can we live our lives without helping, yet say that we care?

Do we simply accept?  Is the answer simply acceptance?  Seems more like the fake, pretty girlfriend of unwillingness.  So, what if I told the women?  What if I obtained evidence and showed it to them? Would that help or simply make things worse?  Are these men just human and cannot be blamed for their mistakes?  Will they one day transcend their immaturity and develop actual morals?  Should I be giving good advice to them?  Encouraging them?  Yes.  That is the answer.  Lead by example.

Tolerance vs. Acceptance

Tolerance for temperament is special in a relationship: it shows strong devotion and dedication, but a violent temperament is dangerous, and therefore tolerating a violent temperament is endangering yourself!  Do not tolerate physical tolerance.  My views on verbal abuse and anything that does not involve physical contact is that it is okay.  Many would disagree with this, and I understand and have felt their passion for myself before, but I have transcended the need to be upset over someone else's words.  I know now that they are only sounds coming from a person's mouth.  Yes, words have meaning, but to allow yourself to absorb those meanings and affect your mind is allowing another person to affect you without them physically touching you.  If your mental stability is weak in that this would hurt you and bring you down, your mental stability needs empowerment.  I know that it is hurtful to even say someone has a weak mind, but if I saw someone with no muscles, I would not expect them to be able to go into a gym and bench press three hundred pounds.  Why then would I expect someone with no mental muscle to walk into name-calling argument and not feel bad?

You must learn to be patient, and be patient to learn

In one of Rudyard one of Kipling's poems, Kipling wrote about a man that had obtained wealth through years of hard work.  This man then lost every penny in one "roll of the dice." The man did not despair  and began building his wealth again.  This was described by Kipling as "becoming a man," and this is what I consider to be true patience: the ability to continue being patient even after your patience goes unrewarded.

The understanding of patience a second time around had a profound impact on me, even though I had already understood it.  I already knew that patience was not only to wait for something, but to continue to wait even after that patience was unrewarded, but when I heard it a second time, I felt reassured.

Take my advice: hearing and understanding something does not mean a second time around cannot be useful.   it should be considered a second chance to fully understanding things. Whether something new is to be learned or not, the least effect of learning something twice is reenforcement of your original understanding.

Your mood is whatever you want it to be

Can you change who you are?  Yes, you can.  I didn't used to think so, but...  Uhhh..  Yea..  I changed...

When I was sixteen years old, a man said to me, "No one can make you mad."  I was like, "yea right"  because of course someone could surely piss me the hell off if they tried.  Unfortunately though, I spent thirteen years believing that before I realized that the man was right - only I had the power to make me mad.

What's more is that understanding where certain feelings will lead can allow you to lead yourself to happiness in any situation.

Try this:

In a difficult moment, begin by clearing your mind.  Don't think about anything, any belief, rationalization, feeling, or thought at all.  Your mind should be blank and completely empty.  You are simply observing what is in front of you with your eyes, not your mind.  You are only seeing, not thinking.

From there, observe the situation.  See what is going on.  Do not look for a solution, just understand the situation as it is.  This is one way to understand a problem without emotion.

Once you understand the problem without feeling emotional about it, you can decide what resolution you prefer, instead of letting your emotions take over.  I.e. you see a bug creep out from a crevice you automatically let your fear decide what to do (squash the bug!), but maybe you'd decide differently if you weren't freaked out.

You can also put whatever emotion you want into your head.  This is cool about blanking out your mind.  The situation can be bad and call for upset emotions for example, but after you've cleared your mind, it is like a blank portrait waiting to be painted.  Go ahead and throw a happy thought in just to try it out.  You may find that you can be happy even in an upsetting situation!

Trust me; by allowing your emotions to take over, you are essentially letting them make decisions for you.  Instead, control your emotions, and then make decisions for yourself; that way you don't have to get angry or sad or anything bad while resolving problems!

Live happy by choice!

Which way will you go?

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